I don’t even remember my life before Star Wars. In a lot of ways, it was my gateway between Disney cartoons and the rest of the cinematic world. As best I can remember, I first saw the original trilogy when I was around 7 years old. It was the 20th anniversary of A New Hope’s release and two years away from the prequels. I still have the VHS box set of the original trilogy that introduced me to this galaxy far, far away. Star Wars has been a part of my life for more than 25 years, and with Episode IX coming out this month, I wanted to attempt to put into words what this story has meant to me.

It’s difficult to even try to describe how much I love Star Wars, but Yoda said “there is no try,” so I’ll do it anyway. It’s been such a fixture in my life that I often take it for granted and don’t really think about what it really means. But I have so many vivid memories throughout my life that center around Star Wars.

• I remember watching the original trilogy on a portable TV (you know, the ones with the built-in VCR) we would take on long road trips when we were kids – before the days of iPads or even portable DVD players.
• I remember dressing up as C-3PO and Jar Jar Binks (I know, ew) for consecutive Halloweens when I was probably 9 or 10 years old.
• I remember when Revenge of the Sith came out and my friends had a week-long marathon of the entire series at my house. My dad created a homemade screen out of bedsheets that we projected the movies onto.
• I remember having to leave my second or third viewing of Revenge of the Sith early because I had to go get my wisdom teeth taken out. While I was drugged up I remember dreaming that I was actually in Star Wars.
• I remember the countless hours and days I spent putting together Star Wars Lego sets – all of which I still have today.
• I remember getting the voice-controlled R2-D2 toy for Christmas when I was around 10 or 11. I had him exploring our lake house when he accidentally fell down a couple of stairs. It screamed just like in the movie whenever R2 gets hurt and I laughed about it for the rest of the day.
• I remember having a mini-marathon before The Last Jedi came out with a new group of friends, watching Rogue One through The Force Awakens all in one day.

I feel like every new Star Wars movie I see is my favorite Star Wars movie immediately after watching it. Sure, they’re not all perfect (the prequels have some serious issues), but now I can appreciate each entry in this saga for expanding the galaxy and introducing us to characters we’ve grown to love. Each movie has incredible moments – some better than others – that remind us of the joy and wonder of stories.

Star Wars has been around for every major era of my life. The original trilogy came to me when I was 7 and had the perfect amount of wonder and imagination to appreciate this life-changing story. The prequels were released during the most formative time of my life – between the ages of 9 and 15. (Also released during this same time frame were all three Lord of the Rings movies and the first three Harry Potter movies. It was a great time to be alive). The sequel trilogy (plus Rogue One and Solo) followed me through the second half of my 20s, just as I was leaving school and entering adult world, reminding me that you don’t have to completely grow up.   

So what is it about these stories that keeps bringing me back? Well, in short, everything. Star Wars, like so many other stories, is ultimately about the battle between good and evil. But there’s something about the way Star Wars portrays the Light and Dark that makes it so much more engaging than other variations. Our heroes are always the underdog – a young Jedi apprentice trying to find his place in the universe, a rag-tag group of Rebels facing against a dominating Empire, or an even smaller team of Resistance fighters against an even stronger First Order.

But the dichotomy of good and evil isn’t always enough on its own. We have to care about and cheer for the characters that fight for the forces of good. And Star Wars has great characters all around – Luke, Leia, Han, Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO, Darth Vader, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padme, Palpatine, Rey, Finn, Poe, BB-8, Kylo – that play important roles in creating the necessary balance in the universe.

It’s incredible that we’re introduced to this galaxy through R2-D2 and C-3PO’s point of view. Sure, we meet Leia and Vader in the opening scene, but these two weird little droids are the only main characters we meet for a solid 20 minutes of screen time. And between the character design, Anthony Daniels’ performance as 3PO and Ben Burt’s sound design for R2, we can’t help but fall in love with them.

When I was younger, I loved the lightsaber duels, the battles and the humor of Star Wars. Getting older, I now can see the deeper meanings and morals of the saga. As flawed as they are, I love the prequels for their tragic tale of a boy who wanted to be a pilot and the forces of light and dark that corrupted and manipulated him to become a villain. I love the original trilogy for the showstopping heroics, the draw of being a part of something greater than yourself, and the belief that everyone has good in them. And I love the sequel trilogy (pre-Episode IX) for showing us that everyone can be a hero – no matter your background – and for reminding us that we all have the ability to grow, change and learn from our failures.

I love that Episode IV is called A New Hope. Because ultimately, that’s what Star Wars has always been about. Hope. Hope that the light will win, even against insurmountable odds. Hope that you can find balance and light within yourself. Hope that you can find your place in this vast universe. Hope that you can learn from your past and become a better person tomorrow. Hope that there is good in everyone.

So that’s why I love Star Wars. It’s always been weird, fun, surprising and wise. We can all be a Force for good and stop living in fear of the unknown and the darkness. As Yoda said, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Star Wars reminds us not to let our fears drive us, but that even if we lose or fail, there is always hope.